Mindset | Dr. Morgan Crowley

“Key to Yourself” by Venice Bloodworth was suggested to me by a coach of mine a year ago (2021). Since then, I have been studying the words somewhat religiously. I won’t go so far as to say that I have done it everyday. There have been times when I read it every morning but I came to a point where I kept reading the same words over and over again but I felt stuck.

I had been told that this book can change lives and I wanted my inner world to change for the better. I wanted the narrative that was running all day long to be one of positivity, hope and reward, instead of fear, doubt and criticism. Boy did I have a long journey ahead of me.

I’m going to start a series on “Key” as my friend and I affectionately refer to it. I will be going over some of the highlights and passages that have stuck out to me.

Some things to keep in mind: Venice uses passages from the Christian Bible to back up her claims, so this for people who are interested in combining personal development with spiritual scripture.

There are concepts in here that will require radical self responsibility so if you like to play the blame game and are a victim of life, then this is not for you.

The way she talks is in a style of years gone by. The language is more advanced than what we typically see in books today, so bear with me as I try to break it down for you.

How I “unstuck” myself.

I had to come to serious self realizations during my pause from reading “Key” one was a sense of self-worth, self-love and self-confidence. I realized that while I may portray all of those qualities, I did not believe them on the inside. This is was critical in overcoming (and it’s still a work in progress).

Talking to myself in the car and realizing that if I was stranded on an island , I would be enough. That my efforts are worthy, I do not need other people’s approval for validation and that I must believe in myself 100%. No one is going to care about me more than me on the earthly side. Like all the sages say, “it’s an inside job”. This sounds easy to read but I encourage you to start a 30 day cleanse of negative self talk and you don’t need to hype yourself up. This isn’t about being fake and trying to trick yourself into self-love this is coming from the deep down, hard work, that you need to forgive yourself for past mistakes, you need to forgive others and you need to realize that you are more than enough just the way you are.

You might be asking, “if I’m enough then why do I need personal development?” Ah oh wise one, because we are always striving to reach our full potential. We can recognize that we are enough but as Nona Djavid says “be blissfully dissatisfied”, love where you are and then keep reaching towards your highest self. It’s necessary to love where you are today and to recognize the blessings that you have. Once you have truly embodied this concept you are ready to start moving onto the next rung of the proverbial ladder.

After my work on self-love was coming to grips with the idea of dreaming without wanting. It might sound hard to separate the two but I think this is an important step in understanding the work of Venice Bloodworth. You must become okay with the concept that you can dream and build in your mind without attaching the emotion of want.

For instance, let’s say it would be nice to have an Aston Martin in my driveway. I can build this car in my head with the seats the color I like, the inside decked out the way I prefer and I can imagine myself driving in this beautiful car. Notice I did not say want. That’s right! I would like or I would prefer, not I want.

Wanting creates the feeling of separation from what we have currently and what would we like have in the future. This feeling of separation is not a stand alone emotion but has co-emotions that can be toxic to the mind like fear, doubt, guilt and shame.

So let’s avoid those emotions and focus on high vibration emotions like bliss, peace, love, you know, the natural order of Universe? If you don’t believe that the natural order of the Universe is based in love then you can stop reading because as I said above, these teachings go along with the Christian Bible and are based on the fact that love is the all powerful force driving the Laws of the Universe.

We must also remember to let go of the outcome, this has been said by so many people, it hurts me to write this. But, I think that if you have made it this far, you understand that wanting and being attached to the outcome are two sides of the same coin? When we are attached to the outcome, we are also found wanting. Therefore, don’t let one creep in and replace the other.

Build in your mind from a place of peace, love and joy (as corny as that sounds) and let go of wanting (by not using I want language as you build) and let go of the outcome ( you don’t care whether you get it or not).

So, where do we go from here? We start diving into “Key to Yourself”!

Key Take Aways (pun intended)

Work on the concept of self-love, self-worth, and self-confidence
Pay close attention to “want” language when dreaming and building in your mind
Focus on high energy emotions such as bliss, love and peace and let go of fear, doubt, and criticism

Talk soon

Morgan

So many people say that failing is growing but who actually believes that?

I’ve been reading “Mindset” by Dr. Carol Dweck and it has completely connected the dots on why people with a “fixed mindset” rail against the idea of failing.

I’m a millennial and we were brought up to believe we were special and talented, which in of itself sounds like a great idea. It was an improvement over the ideas of past parenting that said “you’ll never be good enough” or worse.

I think those of us who were raised in the late 80s, 90s and early 2000’s can all relate that it did feel good to know we were, okay, even if we didn’t excel at something.

The problem lies in the use of language. It’s amazing to me, how using certain phrases can completely change our psychology and impact the trajectory of our whole lives.

The idea of being special or talented means that you don’t have to try as hard to be good at something and you feel bad for those who do have to work hard.

While I was in high school, I could read something one time, regurgitate it and sometimes apply it better than my classmates who had spent hours on the material. Why? Because I was special. I have a fantastic memory and I enjoy using it.

I’ll never forget the many times my dad said to me that his wish for me was to be a great critical thinker not just a great regurgitator. I was so busy with sports, extracurriculars, volunteering and course work, that to be honest, I really didn’t care about becoming a great critical thinker because good regurgitators got good grades.

When I went to college, I found the first semester hard. My fantastic memory was not enough anymore, I needed to become a good critical thinker. Unfortunately for me that meant that I needed to apply myself. I thought back on what my friends did who needed to work hard and starting applying that method to my studies. My boyfriend at the time, was incredibly brilliant and he never needed to study or work very hard and I found myself feeling less than special because I now needed to work.

Thankfully, I put my pride on the shelf and my goals in front of me and realized that I needed to apply hard work to whatever natural ability I had to make a go of education.

The result? Success. To be honest, this was the first time when I realized how good it felt to work hard for something and be rewarded. Before, I felt like I had cheated, that I somehow hadn’t earned it because I didn’t need to struggle.

Looking back, I was cheating, cheating myself of the opportunity to push myself farther and learn more thanks to my natural ability. If I could go so far with my natural talents, then how much further could I have gone with some elbow grease?

I will always carry a little regret with me that I didn’t push myself farther in those early years, but I intend to make up for it now.

Back to Dr. Dweck and her mindset hypothesis. She makes the case for a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. Fixed mindsets are the ones where people feel they are special or talented and afraid to fail or be seen as less than special. Growth mindset people are people who want to learn and become better in whatever they are passionate about.

Inadvertently, I had gone from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset in college in order to succeed and then throughout my career in healthcare I have stayed mostly in a growth mindset.

It’s only been recently in the online space, that I have found myself reverting back to the fixed mindset, “what will people think”, “what if I’m not good enough, or as good at it, as I am as a chiropractor?”, “what if I fail?”.

Using the knowledge that I am reading in this book, which in of itself speaks to a growth mindset, I feel like I have good understanding of how these two mindsets interplay.

It’s okay to fail, it’s okay to be mediocre at first. I may not be the best blog writer or the best course instructor when I first start but through hard work I can become very good, maybe even great.

Become the best version of you through hard work

Morgan

For those interested you can pick up a copy of Dr. Dweck’s book below through Amazon, and I do earn a small commission if you buy through this link